Fond Memories of Prague

This story carries on from when I left London (the day after I banged the Hottie with the third wheel), and if you missed the post, you can find it here.

Sitting in abysmal traffic and still yet to check in, with my flight about 80 minutes away, I was starting to worry whether I was doomed to stay in London forever.

I had spent over 20 minutes on the phone with some fuckwit from some overseas call center, trying my hardest to tell him to call the airline for me, because I couldn’t call a Slovakian number. Realizing I was clearly running around in circles, I ended the call by telling him what a retarded, inbred, stinking pile of shit he was, then proceeding to swear upon Jesus, Ghandi, Allah, Krishna, Zeus, and all things holy to never fly with a budget airline again.

Thankfully, my taxi driver found an alternate route, and I got on the plane just in the nick of time.

After a short flight, I landed in Prague and everything just felt so right!

I proceeded to make my way into the Old Town where my penthouse awaited me. For the same price I was paying in Bethnal Green, for a shitty 6 square meter room, with 4 others in the apartment that constantly smelt like weed, and sounded like souls lost in the depth of Hades, I checked into my 110 square meter penthouse apartment, bang smack in the middle of the Prague 1 Old Town.

Knowing full well what I needed to do, I got all of my basics sorted, got a Czech number, got my logistics and bearings right, then began talking to EVERY SINGLE GIRL 7/10 or hotter.

By the end of my first week in Prague, I had amassed over 40 phone numbers. One of the numbers belonged to a short, petite, slim, and super attractive Czech blonde from a little village 2 hours outside of Prague – for the sake of privacy, we shall call her Suzie. Another number belonged to a sultry, curvy, and tall Russian girl by the name of ‘Natalya’, which is part two of my ‘Fond Memories of Prague’ story, and can be found here.

Anyhow, the story of how I met Suzie went something like this:

I saw her on the street walking near the main square and stopped her. She thought I was asking for directions and when I told her I thought she looked attractive, she stood there for a second, gobsmacked.

‘Well are you not going to tell me I look attractive too?’ I asked her

‘Yes, of course!’ She said, whilst snapping back to reality.

‘Took you long enough, Ty Vole!’ I replied.

The phrase ‘Ty Vole’ is a very old and well known colloquial slang term in Czech culture, which is loosely equivalent to someone in English saying ‘god damn’ or ‘well fucking shit’ or ‘ain’t that some shit’. Long story short, foreigners aren’t really supposed to know it/say it.

Nevertheless, we talked for another 10 minutes before I grabbed her number. She told me I was a bad boy for saying the phrase ‘Ty Vole’ and I told her she had better teach me how to behave.

Later that week, we texted back and forth a little and arranged to meet up on the weekend, on Saturday. We agreed to meet at 5pm.

Natalya, which can be found in part 2 of this story was booked for 9pm on the same day. Now before you guys go off at me for poor time management, there’s a good reason why I couldn’t avoid this, but that will be explained in the second part of my story.

I caught up with Suzie at the little outdoors bar 3 minutes walk from my place. We sit down at the table, and I make sure we sit next to each other rather than across the table from each other. I order a couple of drinks for us and we being talking.

The date itself was pretty straight forward. For the first 10 – 15 minutes just general banter and light hearted conversation. For the latter 30 – 40 minutes, asking her about her past relationships, sex talk, her sex life, and etc., and making sure to touch her regularly, in a dominant, sensual, and non-creepy way. This link is a comprehensive breakdown of what I do/aim to achieve on every first date.

Towards the end of the date, tell her I was getting quite hungry, and ask her if she’s hungry too. She mentioned she could eat something. I asked her whether she’s travelled to Asia before and whether she’s had authentic Chinese cooking. She told me she hadn’t, so I told her I’d make her one of my mother’s recipes.

I take her by the hand and we start walking towards my apartment.

When we got to my place, the vibe was super chill. I opened another beer for us and told her she can help me with the prep for dinner.

Once everything was chopped and simmering away, we sit down on my couch and start making out.

She told me this was totally out of the blue and a bit crazy. I told her that I totally wasn’t expecting this either, but it was a pleasant surprise. I also told her it was probably because we got along so well, and that she gets my sense of humor. ‘Sometimes you just can’t explain chemistry’, I told her. She agreed, and we continue making out/heavy petting.

I pick her up with a fireman’s carry and throw her onto my bed. We continue making out and start to undress each other. I quickly whip back to the kitchen to turn the heat off the cooking, then whip back. We fuck HARD for a good hour or so and cuddled for a bit after, then have some dinner and I walk her to the metro station.

As soon as I see her disappear into the tube, I ran as fast as I could back home and jump into the shower, change the sheets, and spray some air freshener to disguise the smell of pussy. God I felt so dirty but so proud of myself!

Natalya was going to be over in about 40 minutes and I was drained! Earlier that morning I had gymmed for about 2 hours, followed by 4 hours of walking around talking to girls, followed by Suzie.

For the first time in a long time I prayed to the gods for a second wind. My little guy looked like he had just fought off 300 Spartans. My quads were heavy and lifeless, and I could barely keep my eyes open, but alas, I had to do it! All those years of repressed teenagehood and sexless early adulthood, it was all for this moment!

Click here for part 2
As for Suzie, we’d go on to date until I left Prague. She was one of the most fun girls I’ve ever dated and fucks like a pornstar.


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