‘Oh god I’m so nervous, she agreed to come on a date with me, and I’m totally freaking out. What am I going to do?’ Said one of my more awkward, less confident mates (Tariq).
‘Was it that cute, geeky girl from the library you asked out?’ I replied.
‘Yeah that’s her! We’re catching up for coffee this Friday. I’m so worried that she’s not going to like me. What are we going to talk about?’ He nervously blurted, while fidgeting in his seat.
‘If she’s going on a date with you, she most probably ALREADY LIKES YOU’ I stated, with a look of conviction.
‘No she doesn’t, we don’t have anything in common, I’m most probably going to screw it up’. He replied.
‘You’ll be fine mate, go get em tiger’ I encouraged.
I’d love to say that this story had a happy ending, but it didn’t. After the date and getting friendzoned, I get a call from Tariq. He sounded like a man who had lost it all…
‘What did I do wrong?’ He lamented. ‘God I hate myself so much right now, I did everything that PUA site told me to do. I DHV’d, I told interesting stories, I even negged her!’
Now it wasn’t that Tariq did anything wrong, per se. He went on the date, tried his hardest, and gave it his all. However, a flawed process can only yield flawed results. Tariq went to run a ‘marathon’ with no ‘legs’.
Tariq looks and dresses like your typical nice guy. His tone of voice was very soft and he did not work out. He lacks the fundamental masculine energy women find attractive. His whole demeanor screamed boring/safe/nice/soft [insert typical nice guy adjective here]. His coffee ‘date’ was most likely the cute girl from the library thinking it was a ‘friendly catch up’. From the get go, Tariq had hamstrung himself.
In a future post, I’ll cover how to present yourself so that whenever you ask a girl out, she’ll never be confused about what your intentions are. Today, I’ll cover the process I believe Tariq should have followed, on his date with the cute girl from the library.
Mindset and Care Factor
Tariq went into the date with all his eggs in one basket. He was nerve wracked, and was most likely sat so straight, he’d make the straightest man in the world look gay. He cared so much about the date going well that he went as far as to use a bunch of useless PUA tactics, which not only don’t work, but most likely would have made him look completely creepy.
Whenever I go on a first date with a girl, I could care less however which way the date goes. Part of the lack of care is experience. Part of the lack of care is because I’m already getting laid. Part of the lack of care is because I ALWAYS book MULTIPLE dates for later that day and/or later that week.
A fundamental rule about about interacting with any female on a date is that she often feels what you feel. Now there are odd exceptions where women like a submissive/soft man, and gets off by dominating them, but on the whole, based on evolutionary biology of human beings, women like the man taking the lead. Ever wonder why guys complain about women telling them they’re too young? It’s not the age she cares about, it’s the fact that she’s worried he has 0 experience and would have no idea what to do/how to handle her, which is exactly what happened with Tariq.
Anyhow, I digress, if you’re not chill on the date, how can you possibly expect her to be chill/relaxed? Women can sense if your Jimmies are rustled, before you can.
Moreover, even if the date does run into the abyss of Hades, who cares? Once you start getting the hang of this whole dating/mating thing, you’ll be more worried about remember what the girl you’re going on a date with looks like, because you’ve talked to so many girls that week, and booked so many dates.
Summary of the above (for the TLDR)
- Book at least 3 – 5 dates for that week
- Time permitting, book another date for later that day. If this date goes well, just cancel on the date later. If this date turns to shit, go meet the other girl
- Sit back, relax, talk slowly/moderately slow
- FULLY expect nothing from the date
- Follow (loosely) my recommended other steps (found in the latter parts of this article)
Right guys, that concludes part 1. In part 2, I cover what to talk about, how to touch her, and why touching her is so important.