This entertaining little two-part segment was inspired by an extended dry spell, which both me and a good friend of mine had a while back. It’s also the reason why I no longer take women home on the first date, unless:
- I’m at least 95% sure she’ll sleep with me that night;
- I’m ok with this only being a one night stand (90% likely), which most of the time I’m not, because if I like her, it’d be nonsensical to bed her too quickly and have her ghost me;
- And also because I have many kinky and perverted fetishes, which doing on the first time we have sex is asking for her to ghost me;
- She’s a foreign traveler who is only going to be around for < 2 weeks
Now if you guys are cool with a chain of random and inconsistent one night stands, by all means, go guns blazing all in. But, if you guys are busy, with a full time job, outside-of-work commitments, time consuming hobbies/interests, and etc., then slow down a bit! Just remember, even if you take her home on the second date rather than the first, it’s still HELLA QUICK! The total time she’s known you by that point would most likely be no more than 3 hours, if you’re following my advice.
Women are much more pressured and judged in society than men, thus slut shaming is much more prevalent for women. It does not mean that a woman who comes home with you on the first date is a slut, but in her brain and to her, it does.
MOST of the time, when a woman dates a man, she wants a relationship. Now there are definitely exceptions to this rule. Having said this, most EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY women want relationships, because they’re genetically and biologically wired to do so.
By relationships, I don’t mean only serious monogamous relationships. I mean repeat visits to the same partner. This could mean monogamy, a short fling, or even steady fuckbuddies. Nevertheless, women date differently to men, hence we always have to keep this knowledge at the back of our minds, when deciding what type of relationship you’d like to have with the woman you’re on a date with.
From my understanding, the scientific explanation behind this is because prior to the human race discovering contraception, when a man and woman have sex, they usually make a baby. Obviously due to history and human evolution, when a woman is pregnant, she is at her most vulnerable state, hence she needs the man to stick around, usually at least until the child is of an age which the tribe can care for it, thus their desire for relationships/the same partner (at least for the immediately foreseeable future, is usually around 2 – 5 years).
In terms of the woman completely ghosting you, if you bed her too quickly, I’m not 100% sure of the science behind this, but I would assume (from an evolutionary sense) that if you bed her too quick and ‘impregnate’ her, she can at least ghost you and sleep with another man in a short timeframe (before her belly protrudes), who has some sense of commitment, then tell him the baby is his. Prior to paternity tests, this would have worked out well for the following reasons:
- There was VERY LITTLE interracial sex going on at that time
- Without an adequate paternity test, it’d be near impossible to tell who the child belongs to, and as per point 1
- Thus even if the child is not the new man’s, she can still muddle the lines and have some sort of ‘protection’ during her most ‘vulnerable’ state
From my experience, the sweet spot to take a woman home lies somewhere between the second date and the third date. I find women who I take home on the first date (or on the same day I meet her) don’t come back, most of the time. Now it could mean that I’m completely useless in bed, but the more likely reasons are:
- Their internal slut shame gauge has overflowed
- They don’t get a sense that you’d like to stick around and offer some sort of commitment e.g. you are just trying to get to sex ASAP
- Obviously with our welfare system and left wing government, she’s not actually ‘vulnerable’, but her subconscious doesn’t understand this
Let’s think about this logically for a second. If you and a bunch of your mates were sitting at the pub talking and the topic of sex comes up, then you proceed to tell them how you took this hot babe on a date, and an hour later you took her home and fucked the shit out of her, what would your mates’ reactions be? High fives all round most likely.
Now let’s think about this from her perspective. If she was at the (wherever women congregate and socialize), and she told the same story, what do you think her mates would say? From my MANY conversations of past relationships and sex talk, with women I’ve taken on dates, it’d be something along the lines of: ‘you naughty girl’ or ‘oh em gee Sarah, you dirty little slut’ or some backhanded compliment layered with crap tonnes of judgmental shit.
‘Impregnate’, ‘offspring’, and ‘vulnerable’ are only metaphorical examples if the modern world we lived in didn’t have contraception or a welfare system. Having said this, because of human evolution and biology, our subconscious brains do not recognize contraception on a deeper level; even if we logically understand that we have prevented an ‘offspring’ being made, the female psyche still believes an ‘offspring’ will be made, hence women being more relationship oriented than men.
Yes, yes, I know, feminists and feminism say men are pieces of shit and women don’t need them, because they’re sassy and independent. Don’t hate the writer for stating nature’s original intentions before humans discovered contraception/a welfare system.
Anyhow, I digress. Don’t believe me? Try it yourself and share your experiences here.
Another benefit to not taking her home so quick is the likelihood of sex.
Now what do I mean by this statement? By Likelihood of sex, I mean how likely she is to sleep with you, when you take her home.
‘But Shanghai Bobby, if she’s in your house and on your bed, she’s definitely going to have sex with you right?’
As I will touch on in part 2 of this series, during my 7 week dry spell, I took 17 women home and only slept with 3 of them. That’s almost an abysmal 1/6 closing rate and the ones I ended up sleeping with, were at the end of the dry spell.
So what ended up happening with the other 14 women you ask? I got to second base with most of them, then hit a brick wall at second base, with them giving me a mixture of feedback along the lines of:
‘You’re such a piece of shit scumbag taking me home so quick. Can’t believe you’d take me to the local park bench to have a drink, and within 10 minutes of sitting down, we’re already talking about sex’.
‘I only have sex with my boyfriend, and I don’t want to start anything during my travels, because I don’t want to be hurt or hurt you’.
‘It’s actually better we should just be friends. This is way too crazy for me – I barely even know you’.
Now the thing is, what they literally told me isn’t really of that much importance. What is important however is the message behind what they told me, which can be summarized as:
- Their slut shame gauge exploded because I went guns blazing all in, too quick
- They were still getting to know me/become more comfortable with me
- They did not get a sense that I had some longer term potential to ‘protect the offspring’, thus the act of denying sex prevents them from ‘getting pregnant’ and ‘going into a vulnerable’ state
Right, let’s complete part 1 with some Q & A
‘But Shanghai Bobby, if fucking girls were that hard, why do some of my mates go to club and pull girls all the time?’
Because it’s a night club. People go there, get drunk, have random sex, and forget about it ever happening (the women at least). This method of getting laid is HIGHLY inconsistent, is detrimental towards your long term health, and completely fucks up your next day, because most of the time you’re out until at least 3am, and even if you’re not drinking, your circadian rhythm is still poked.
‘But Shanghai Bobby, these mates of mine met their current GF at the nightclub. They’ve been together for years!’
Most women you meet at the nightclub are not women of quality. On the rare occasional, quality women do go to the nightclub for the occasional party/get together. If you want quality GF material, you’re better meeting them during the day/early evening.
‘Bullshit Shanghai Bobby, you just have no game or skills with women. I was reading this PUA website and watching their videos. They tell me that if I follow their method, run their routines, make sure I merge sets, make sure I use social proof and preselection, spike their buying temperature, make sure my openers are high energy, and remember to be dominant with my eye contact and body posture, I can get laid every time I go out, and keep these girls as long term wife material GFs!’
Only very few people are consistent with one night stands from night clubs. These people are most often white, VERY good looking, athletic, dress well, have great style, are HYPER masculine, are dominant and firm, are at least 6 feet tall, and are the top 1% of men.
If you’re not that, your sex will be inconsistent … unless you’re sexing land whales, hybrid sloth humans, scraping the bottom of the seabed, or any other related activity. Then sure, you will consistently pull most nights, and you will consistently have sex with women that nobody else will, with a smattering of the occasional average to above average girl, and very rarely an attractive girl.
Don’t believe me? Try it out and see. I’ll most probably be seeing you in part 2 of this series.